5 Things You Need to Know About Having A Big “ger” Family.

1. The Diaper Bag:
   1. Baby #1, the diaper bag is beautiful, a work of organizational art. There are pockets for everything, a water proof bag for soiled clothes, a plastic dispenser filled with disposable bags for dirty diapers, a cute travel sized container of wet wipes, baby lotion, baby bath wash, 2 face cloths, 2 changes of clothes, and 2 of the cutest sleepers for baby. 3 Board Books proven to increase intelligence in your 3 month old, a soother even though you wouldn’t even consider giving your baby one, a copy of “What to Expect”, 4 nursing pads, a gorgeous nursing cover, a bottle even though you don’t bottle feed, a change of shirt for yourself, every feminine toiletry item imaginable, the cutest set of bibs even though baby doesn’t eat solids, snacks for you, gum, gorgeous baby shoes even though baby won’t leave them on, lip gloss and hand lotion for you. It is the most expensive bag you’ve ever purchased to date in your favorite colour. You can easily leave for 2 days without a care in the world.
   2. Baby #2, see list above and add everything again for a toddler. You can easily leave for 2 months without a care in the world.
   3. Baby #3, most often you have the diaper bag with a smattering of the above items. It has an indescribable smell at all times. Hopefully there are wipes in the console. A run to Walmart for _________ can solve all your basic needs. You’ve got this.
   4. Baby #4, beautiful diaper bag stays in the closet. In the event clothes are soiled you rinse them out in a puddle and lay them on the hood of the van to dry in the sun. Spit cleans most things. Public washroom sinks and paper towels can work wonders on a quick touch up job. Baby is mostly naked, often in a diaper too big for him. There really is never any need to go back home.

2. Leaving the House:

If you need to be somewhere for a specific time there is a simple formula.

1. Baby #1- driving time + 10 minutes
2. Baby #2- driving time + 15 minutes
3. Baby #3- driving time + 20 minute
4. Baby #4- driving time + 40 minutes.

The carseat is your best friend. Chase down one baby at a time, dress (this is always more exciting in Canadian cold and snow), strap in carseat, run for the next. Yes this is a marathon, you will win, one carseat at a time.

Consider the poop. The third child will always need to poop just before you leave, this takes 15 minutes at least. In the event that you get out where you are going before “the poop”, he will need to poop as soon as your cart is full. It will still take 15 minutes.

Prepare for every second person you run in to to say “Are they all yours?”  Prepare for every 1^st person to point and stare wide eyed while they mouth count “1-2-3-4”. Consider charging viewing fare, after all they are VERY cute!

3. You are loud:

You are the party. This does not mean your children are bad, it just means that they are loud. They chatter and play and sing together, fight together, constantly, they will be great negotiators, creators and entertainers. So the party begins when you arrive. It is noticeable. Embrace it.

4. Bedtime:

Sleep is essential, there is a formula for success. Bath, Book, Bed. Every. Time.

1. Baby #1, you sleep train. Meaning you sit outside her bedroom door and sob with Mommy guilt until you both fall into exhausted sleep
2. Baby #2, you sleep train. Meaning you sit outside her crib on the floor so you can assure her your heart is breaking. She laughs and plays with your hair as you drift in and out of sleep sitting up until she falls asleep.
3. Baby #3, he sleeps with you.
4. Baby #4, you’re going to do this right again, you are heartless, you sleep train and by now all your sleep training and not sleep training, heartlessness and soft and squishy heart have created a circus far removed from Bath, Book, Bed. Every. Time. And you must create a new 2 hour cycle that works perfectly once a month.

5. Let it go:

1. Baby #1, let nothing go, symbolically baby is perfectly dressed for all occasions
2. Baby #2, suffer silently when bits and pieces of baby aren’t dressed perfectly example when baby #2 explosive poops as only a nursing baby can moments before baby presentation day at church and you are forced to rinse your shirt out in the church kitchen sink and take her bare legs and feet to the platform with this unmistakeable stench
3. Baby #3, let go of the socks, he wil not leave them on, you will find them everywhere, people will question your parenting as he is barefoot in January.
4. Baby #4, let go of the panties, she will refuse to wear them, you will laugh as you find them in the backyard, the playroom, the van. Her job is done.

So this Thanksgiving as we break bread together and make lists of all we’re thankful for I will will list my littles in my big ”ger” family at the top, because yes, my hands are full, my arms -actually- are overflowing even, with such wonderful little people.

… oh, and it’s always a whole loaf of bread, every time.