Dear Mother

I see you as your heart increases today; feeling it yourself is inexplicable.  The moment you saw her tiny face, felt her soft warm head snuggle up under your chin, watched her tiny fingers clasp yours, you knew it was different, you knew you were changed, but there are no words made to adequately explain this feeling.

And you saw me today; a closer glimpse of who I am, your Creator, the one who created her too. You felt a surge of emotion, laughter and tears as you traced her delicately painted red lips with your finger and counted her tiny toes. I crafted every detail.

I see you as you watch your parents awestruck by their child’s child, your precious gift from me. A tear escapes your father’s eye and runs down his cheek and your mother quietly gasps with a joy so deep in her chest it almost looks like it hurts.  Her heart knows this feeling and is once again stretched beyond what she thought capable. Your hearts beat once again as one for a moment.

This is love, my love and it is beautiful. This child is a gift, my gift to you, let her change you.

I see you, toes curl in pain as you learn together with your baby to feed him from your own body. I watch you sigh, tears running down your cheeks as you watch him swallow and reach his hand to rest on your swollen breast.

And you are tired. So tired, nodding off in light slumber, baby clutched to your chest. “Why does he cry?  Why won’t he eat and be full? Am I good enough? Someone help me! No let me take him…” You know a new truth, its as if your heart now beats in his little chest and as he hurts you know nothing but to draw him back to yourself.

I see you. You are right, it is hard. So hard at times but allow me to teach you the sacrament of Motherhood. Give yourself to me, lay yourself down, die to your own needs for my purposes.  As you feel yourself overwhelmed with the inability to say yes to yourself, give yourself to me and let me teach you to be like me. You are right it is counter cultural, it is my way.

Trust me my child. I see you. I am here. I have felt your heartbeat on my chest and I care for every detail of your life. I have held your hand, my child, and longed to soothe you. If you let me, I will teach you through this precious gift, to be like me and my grace will transform you into who you are meant to be.

Dear Mother, MY child, loose your life for me and you will find it.