Brushing Shoulders

There is a woman, a beautiful woman who, just this morning woke up and wondered if she belongs.  This woman has walked through a number of difficult things in life; some things harder than she thought she could bear. She’s had some rough blows thrown her way; dodged a few, fell flat on her face over others. She found Jesus, or maybe actually, he found her, and she lives most days so thankful to give Him her all and so unsure if she is.  She knows that her self worth is found in Him; He who says she is His child, friend, forgiven, free, not judged, accepted, called, new, promised, provided for, completed, chosen.

She’s been blessed with a good marriage, they work at it, but it is good and that’s sadly rare these days; and a sweet family,  matter of fact there are days her heart swells with so much love it is overwhelming and hurts in her chest.  Her job is good and challenging as are some of her friends. She is fun to be with and people gravitate toward her.

But in the deepest parts of her, even after all God has forgiven and given and spoken to her, there’s a struggle. A struggle laced with anxiety, a struggle to understand just how valued and loved she is, a struggle not to question other’s motives, others love for her, a struggle to truly believe that God created her just. exactly. right.

And sometimes, this beautiful woman falls into the trap so many women of this generation fall into and she finds herself trying to rest in and assert her competence to understand and solidify her value. Sometimes she forgets that God placed her in the positions and relationships shes in, not to prove herself, her worth, her value, but for a specific purpose that is HIS and His alone. A purpose that supersedes all occupation, all status, all  insecurity even- it goes beyond everything else- because it’s purpose is people. God loves people and the places he puts his followers is less about what we do, and more about who we do it with.

When she trusts HIM with THIS, everything shifts;  how she sees her work, her friendships, her volunteering, even her marriage, relationships insecurities, inadequacies.  Then, can her head rise high with assurance that comes from her Almighty God whose plans are so much greater than her own understanding and who calls HER and prepares her for all HE sets before her. Then, when her shoulders brush up against others, insecurities can fall away as she wonders, not “do I belong”, but, “what would God have become of my time with this person?”

So every day, let us start by putting aside, letting go and trusting God with His placement. The exact right place for a purpose far greater than position or occupation. We will work hard, we will strive for excellence and we will endeavor to raise up a generation of young women different then ourselves, who boldly know who they are and what makes them truly belong.

 

Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

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12 Comments

  • Melanie
    February 19, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    So much of this captures the struggles I face as well. Thank you for putting into words some of the messiness that runs around in my head and can barely make sense of most days.

  • Wendy Forrest
    February 19, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    This piece is very revealing on how you see yourself and your relationships with people in your life and with God. Is is undauntingly raw, full of personal truth and introspective. It allows the reader to see inside the mind and heart of you. The doubts, the love and the desire to follow where God wants you to go.

  • Wendy Forrest
    February 19, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    This piece is very revealing on how you see yourself and your relationships with people in your life and with God. It is undauntingly raw, full of personal truth and introspective. It allows the reader to see inside the mind and heart of you. The doubts, the love and the desire to follow where God wants you to go.

  • Lori Woodside Haggerty
    February 20, 2017 at 4:16 am

    Beautifully put Heidi❤ I often find myself praying for God to put people in my path that I need, but sometimes feel like I’ve missed the ones already there or that I may miss the opportunity to be God’s person for someone else.
    I use to say ‘kids I get, they have an honesty and excitement for life…I can work with any kid. Adults on the other hand, they are scary.’ Relating to grown ups was always the bigger challange. Now I just try to look at adults like children of God and it’s helped me have more patience and forgiveness in many relationships. Your writing really speaks to that part of me that still struggles with the ‘ok, what do they really want?’ and reminds me to trust God to guide my relationships too. Thanks for sharing.