One Tall, Dark and Handsome Please…

One tall, dark and handsome please…

How many times did my checklist for love look like this growing up?  And yet here I sit next to my daughter at our favourite bakery trying to communicate so much more than an immature checklist to her.

“Mom, am I making you uncomfortable?” she snickers at me and sips from her hot chocolate, whipped cream moustache left tracing her upturned lips.

“I just don’t want to do it wrong.” I nervous-giggle back at her. “I mean, I know you know a lot but I want to make sure you don’t have any questions, you know, make sure you know I’m here if you want to talk or anything.”

“I’m good Mom, I read the book.” she bites into her delectable pink dessert.

I stare out the frosted windowpane into the snowy downtown street, the minivan might need a push out of that snow drift, but for now I will just sit and enjoy her.  “The book.” Oh there’s so much more that I want to express to you. So much more than could ever be communicated in a book.

I want to plead with you to wait for the one who will show you love in the ordinary over the extraordinary.  Who will reach for you when you turn away. Whose simple touch will send shivers of excitement but also settle your heart with a grounding you’ve never known. Whose chest is home and whose presence is enough.  Whose love changes you, melts you, molds you into a better human.  

Of course I shudder to think how it will hurt too. How you can’t really know love without hurt, life without loss, acceptance without rejection.  How the pain makes the joy that much stronger. Will you learn to see the real love in the ordinary things all around you? You always find what you’re looking for baby, so look for the good, look for the love, believe the best. Have I taught you to look? Have I taught you to see?

But for now we will laugh about puberty and Chewbaka hair, donuts and weiners and I’ll just enjoy you sitting here beside me. But I’m praying. I’m praying you’ll have the faith to believe you’re worth it, worth a love so much deeper than shallow checklists and solidifying that prom date. That you’ll take his name and ask the questions:  Is he patient and kind? does he envy and boast? is he proud: speaking badly about others and good of himself? does he get angry easily? keep a tally of others mistakes? Does he protect and trust and hope and persevere? (1 Corinthians 13:4-6) And even more couragegously dare to ask: Do I?  Because this love, sweet girl, never fails. This love doesn’t look as glamorous, doesn’t always come with shinning diamonds and boxes of chocolate, and the perfect selfie, but this love never fails.

And if you’re really blessed, he’ll be tall, dark and handsome too.